What dreams may come, when a mind descends into mayhem and anarchy in the cover of sleep? I have not the answer but something to tell. I was stranded in a barren garden on a table under a tree. Alone, but happy, with a plate full of my favorite dishes that I have not tasted in almost four years. In my happiness I reiterated the hassle I went through to get my hands on it.
I was standing there and ordering it to my taste, and then, I remember, I ordered a taco instead. I gave the chef entire ingredients for a taco. I dont like tacos. I hate tacos. My source of joy, suddenly revolted against me, the reality swept, or crept in on me. I was on the same table but the food infront of me was not my favorite.
A frame changed; I may have turned in bed. I was so thirsty in the sleep that I woke up, and grabbed a glass from my bedside table. I drank till fill, so sweet and cold water. "But wait I am still thirsty", I thought. "Oh, so it was a dream", I realized. Giving into the thirst I woke up and found that there is no glass on the bedside table. "There is no bedside table". It was not even my room. It was not home, but this place that I am living in for a past few years. A feeling of grief crept in, "like a silent spring creeps in a barren garden", I whispered to that taco infront of me on that table in that barren garden.
"Just a dream", I thought. The sun was setting, I could see. "This sunlight makes it so hard to drive on this road". "I have not been on this road; wait I have to turn right". I turn the steering of the car but it slips. I brake, but invain. Its going backwards now, even though its in the first gear. "What the hell is happening??" I yell in panic.
I am glad I made it to school. What, I have a test today? I have this test on my table but I dont know why I am not solving it. Its irritating, but I am not solving it. Its almost dusk, but I am not solving it. I know I will fail it. It is that fucking taco, isnt it? No one has come to pick me up from school. Its been 15 minutes over. I should panic, thats what I always do, but I think I wont today. I feel I've grown up, so instead I start playing cricket with the other kids with a plastic bat. I have not finished the test, and the taco is still on the table. Did I make that right turn? Did my car stopped slipping backwards?
I am not sure I know.
4 comments:
do u know what u need?
a vacation.
you need to get up here for a weekend with friends and go to an authentic indian buffet and have the time of your life.
and then come over for cake and tea.
thats what u need.
on a more relevent note, you are finally writing beautiful things again, im glad to read. it felt like those nightmares we have at times when you know you're dreaming but everything is tangled up and you're not quiet sure when you're dreaming and when you're thinking abt that you're dreaming, and then you think you're not dreaming but you are... and waking up just makes things weird, cuz you keep thinking back to the dream and how nothing proved that right now is not a dream too...
im dizzy.
aaah teapot, what will I get if I go to authentic Indian buffet? It could have worked if I were an indian.
But I do need a brake. Its been so long. I should have never taken 18 credit hours in summer, and instead had let my mom cook for me.
Have you heared that Pink Floyd song:
Breathe, breath in the air
dont be afraid to care
leave, dont leave me
look around,
chose your own ground ...
etc. etc.
I need to do that.
Maybe it's the tacos pushing your car backwards. Perhaps the dream like food can sense you dis like it, and it's attempting to out you.
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