Platitudes from a cat

This world is a strange place and there are only two kinds of people. There are those who spend their entire lives trying to find the meaning of life and make a sense out of this world; and then the others who spend their lives without any struggle for the truth.

I have spent my time trying to discover what this world has to offer and whats it all about. A few months back I was sitting in the window pane looking outside the apartment, when it occurred to me like an epiphany, the nature of the things.

I noticed a bug flying outside the window, next to a still metal railing. Across the pool, the trees were waving in the wind, the water in the pool was struggling with some humans in it. This is wen I realized that there are only two kinds of things in this world: The ones that move, and the ones that try to move.

After discovering that I felt enlightened. I wanted to spread the truth; spread what I have found, and share it with rest of the felinity. So I started planning about it. I realized that I needed to prove my hypothesis with some kind of tangible proof, if I wanted myself to be taken seriously. I could however, develop a mystical personality and declare myself god, and then automatically everyone would take me seriouslym I thought. I would have a trident, I said to myself, and I will go enforcing my views on everyone. My roommate (who happens to be a man), looked at me as if he didnt care, and said "meow ...".

OOOO!!! I hate when he does that. Sometimes, I think that he doesnt even consider me a sentient being. But the harm is his. I want to teach him a lesson. How about I sit on his chest while he sleeps? This will definitely put some pressure on his heart, which will then cause his brain to stir a nightmare in his sleep. If that doesnt teach him a lesson, I will definitely pee in his closet. Hell, I'll do it anyways. He wouldnt notice, and think of the stench as the smell of plastic cover for a book. Imbecile has no sense of smell.
Sometimes, I want to make it clear to everyone that I am on my own clock. And that means that I do whatever I want, whenever I want, and however I want it. This is it! From today, I will drink water the way I want to drink. I will wet my paws in the bowl and lick them. I will also drink from the bathroom, and I'll let him think that I am not drinking water at all. Then may be he will know who I am!

I wonder sometimes if others know how it feels to be covered in fur from head to tail - not to mention, to have a tail. I have a distant cousin and he has a kink just before his tail ends. He cant balance himself properly, and comes across as a clumsy bastard. I dont think very highly of him. I think he has seen that contempt for him in my eyes as well.

Talking of contempt, I hate canned food. Sometimes I wonder how humans make decisions, and what sort of rationale they use. Take my owner for example, he brings me canned food. Food with pretty labels, and pictures of other felines with content faces. Yesterday, he brought me some gourmet food with rice in it! I am a cat you idiot! I dont eat rice. Stop shopping for my food while you yourself are hungry. Why dont you bring me some "mouse flavored" food next time you are at a walmart. I crave those frozen mice so much. I remember, when i used to feast on mice. Its a fulfilling diet and you sleep well too.

I think I am gonna sleep now. Its an important part of my life.