"Etherized upon a table"
Bright as a sun the fire burns my heart,
Ravaging my soul into corners apart.
In my dreams I have seen the face;
Tiny facets of myself reflecting through smoke.
Touched them I didn’t, I was afraid --
Neither smiled at them nor I cried.
Each one of them I shall hold in my hand, till --
Yes, I shall become one with them.
18 comments:
it's like your describing a psychotic episode where your consciense is shattered and pieces of your self is scattered about, then you're lost and you have this faint awareness taht you are lost and every morning brings about a renewed sense of anxiety till you work towards bringing yourself back together, and the sheer existence of this poem makes the memory impossible to disappear. it stays with you forever, along with the fear of the breakdown happening again.
Damnit! you noticed!
I liked a lot of words which you used. One nitpick though. I think it would work better without the rhyme in the second line. After that, I absolutely love the flow. Well, you asked for fedback. :)
sum of words = a sentence; always remember!
Not always, sir! It can be so much more than a mere sentence.
Re: Vincent said...
Damnit! you noticed!
-
Is that sarcasm? Cuz thats is honestly the way i digested it.
no it wasnt sarcasm at all. You noticed what I had in mind while writing it!
was teapot's description really what you were thinking? i thought there was more hope in it than that analysis...
teapot is one of those friends whom I never dispute. Teapot's decisions are final, but can be appealed in a higher court (of your own conscience) :). Ofcourse, there is more to it; its poetry!
{Teapot will be thinking: flattery exhausts itself}
actually i wasnt thinking anything, i was just smiling at the attention i am getting.
but is it reallyreally what u had in mind originally, or u just said that cuz its easier than explaining it?
enjoying the attention? How rotten of you!
well ya.. maybe its rotten.
cuz i was remembering how you said i shud have a blog and then i said i prefer just posting on your space, makes it more dynamic.
honestly tho, i guess its more enjoyable shining on someone else's coast. beats having to clean the seagull's garbage off my own.
also i think i express myself better when i have less responsability.
anyway...
please sir, can I have some more?
what's seagull's garbage, and who cleans it?
feces.
and if it`s your coast, you have to clean it, don`t you.
unless you sell it.
it = the coast.
it = the coast.
1) Seagull's dont eat pork, which means their feces would stink a lot less.
2) I think its part of the eco system, so this feces is present in the fish that you love to eat. (As Mr. Hankey sings "The poop of the Antilope" in Southpark).
3) What the heck have you gotten me into, no more seagulls!
is THIS what the seagull poem is about?
never saw it coming.
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