The big institutions have a way of attracting assholes for interfacing with the rest of the world. I have no recollection of even one incident which was on the contrary or an exception. The story unfolds as I was begining to escape the feverish excitement of graduating this fall - announced I had already to my friends and foes alike.
I had to see this advisor of mine with an unpronounceable last name, and first name pronounced as "Vain" (however, it is spelled with an x in it), before my last semester formally commenced. This guy is a strange character. He is an advisor for a computer science and mathematics degree but always have a question about simple MS Windows XP use whenever I visit him.
So I visit him this final time, supposedly. Ask him for my degree plan audit and to sign the proper documents so I can get ready for the launch into the world of graduated joblesses . He meditates. His inextricable asshole expands and contracts. I notice those changes through face reading. In his peculiar accent where every word is immortalized by the adition of an x in the begining and in the ending, he announces that I have taken two research courses instead of the required only one. So, I ask, "You never mentioned this before, and you advised me these courses, how is this possible at all?" He murmurs something without moving his lips and I wonder if that is his all encompassing ass. I point out that even though I have taken two research courses that only means that I get a higher stipend for my reasearch this fall, and nothing more and graduate with flying colours. He tells me, " (hell, let me just explain what he says)" - that I had to complete a writing course and that had to be done before the semester I was graduating in, hence, I may not be able to graduate this semester!
At this point I told him to go screw himself, and revealed to him all the distinct characteristics of his deformed, rather de-formulated anatomy - not really! He showed me a piece of paper, rather read it to me by skipping the lines that were in my favor. So I got up, THANKED HIM for screwing me up, and went to the Chair of the college.
Now what happened there is anoter inspirational tale of wisdom. Chair, however, was not an ass-pillered man and he did help me out, and I hope that I will be graduating this fall.
The point of the matter is that I should have been more careful and should not have depended on this omnipotently potent asshole. My first que would have been his name "Vain". Vain it is, "curse you, bastard!"
A Request:
I humbly ask my readers to create a list of comments with the appropriate adjectives for this Vain guy - the nasty the better. I shall deliver your postings to his door steps and to the Chair, as well. Thank you!
6 comments:
Dear Vain,
I am writing to you on behalf of a friend of mine who has suffered much anxiety and humiliation because of you. Accordingly, I have promised to enumerate the things which you are and are not, so as to, so to speak, put you in your place. You are conceited sadistic ass. You know neither integrity nor sympathy. You think that your pay check every month means that you are doing something with your life? Think again. It just proves that there are other bigger asses above you that you are licking, who think that as long as someone is doing the job, they dont need to care about the job being done. People's future are in your hands you ass. If you don't care about them, resign, and let me apply for that job, cuz I am unemployed, and I am certain that I would be a better candidate for that position. Do you know why? Because I care about what I do and I care about people. Having a degree isnt enough you know. You have to care.
I care.
So i implore your employer: Hire me instead, you won't regret it.
honestly!
she has a point.
Congratulations to Mr. Vain for saying that he is omnipotent. That indisputably wins the prize for being the most two-faced and uncivilized thing I've ever heard. It is requisite, even in this summary sketch, to go back a few years to see how each rung on the ladder of phallocentrism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for him to lead to the destruction of the human race. That is the standard process by which the worst types of fork-tongued grifters there are institutionalize commercialism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science. To Vain's mind, our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. So that means that the average working-class person can't see through his chicanery, right? No, not right. The truth is that Vain's buddies aver that "Vain acts in the public interest." First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written that Vain should get a life and stay out of mine, then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Vain's fastidious, grumpy ballyhoos, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to take away as many of his opportunities for mischief as possible.)
If you're still reading this letter, I wish to compliment you for being sufficiently open-minded to understand that if everyone does his own, small part, together we can make some changes here. A recent series of hearings, lawsuits, and media reports demonstrates that the public is like a giant that Vain has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Vain leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to justify condemnation, constructive criticism, and ridicule of Vain and his besotted sermons. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that we must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that Vain will destroy everything beautiful and good. And to overcome these fears, we must take action. I don't know when revisionism became chic, but it is immature and stupid of him to redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to shatter the illusion that the moon is made of green cheese, and that's why I say that his catch-phrases all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. What so many people find difficult to grasp is that Vain appears to have found a new tool to use to help him con us into believing that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. That tool is diabolism, and if you watch him wield it, you'll truly see why cynical, backwards judgmental-types, more than any other segment of the population, like to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture. So what's the connection between that and his ideas? The connection is that Vain's solutions are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying". This letter has gone on far too long, in my opinion, and probably yours as well. So let me end it by saying merely that Mr. Vain is doing some serious mau-mauing.
Oh. My. God. Duke.
are you an activist? if ur not, u shud bem cuz u r one hell of a motivational speaker. its like having curtains lifted and being pushed over a cliff and being told ur gonna fly and being all revved up about it.
I feel your pain dude, I feel your pain.
Such and existence,as your advisor vincent, ought to be given a sex-change surgery, against his will.
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